Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

It's time for Squirrels all time favorite thing to do ever - make a list! So for your perusal, some helpful tips when renovating your home.

Don't sand floors before painting and plastering
In hindsight, we should have waited to do the floors until most of the rest was done; plaster has now been trouped through the house and there are splatters of paint everywhere. I mean, we're hitting them again with the sanders, but it probably would have been a good idea to wait.

Don't use oil based anything
Oil based paints are the devil. Note: this was not done out of choice from Squirrel. This now means that we've now used enough turps to fill the Costa Concordia (and thus negating any savings from purchasing oil based over water based). I don't know why anyone would ever do that, but anyway.

Don't be put off by what looks like sap or blood weeping from the walls.

It's probably not this:

Don't be put off by green kitchens
Is there potential? No. But don't be put off them nonetheless.

Don't sand the plaster yourself
It's a shit job. And takes like several days with drying time. Which delays sexy paint on the walls time!

Don't ask for a low fee for painting an entire house
Squirrel offered to pay for all the paint AND do all of the painting in exchange for a manicure. Squirrel regrets this more than words can say.

Do eat all of the jam donuts
This week I got half a dozen mini jammies for $1.00 at Coles. I ate them all. I've also had 3 full sized ones as well. Hot Jam Donut kill count: 9.

Do get quotes before you rip the whole bloody kitchen out
Just in general, quotes before work = good idea. Nice one Puffin.

Do make sure you have plenty of alcohol on hand
And if you own firearms, remove them from the house IMMEDIATELY. You'll either want to blow your brains out or drink, a lot. Since I'm not a drinker...or a gun owner.... I consumed a family size pack of cheese and bacon balls in the bath. They were delicious. Obviously, all of this jam donut and cheese and bacon ball eating means I no longer fit through the archways, and we will have to get the plasterer back to widen them and re-plaster them.

Have you got any helpful renovation tips? Leave us a comment!